Parenting after separation in Ontario raises urgent and emotional questions for any family, and the stakes feel even higher when children are involved. Parents often come to us asking the same things: Who will the children live with? Who makes the big decisions? Do we have to go to court? What if we cannot agree?
This article answers the most common questions Ontario parents have about parenting arrangements after separation, in plain language, without the jargon.
What does “parenting after separation” in Ontario mean?
When parents separate, they need to figure out two things: how much time each parent will spend with the children, and who will make important decisions about the children’s lives. Ontario law addresses both of these questions, and it does so with a clear priority in mind: the best interests of the child.
The governing legislation depends on your situation. If you are married and seeking a divorce, the federal Divorce Act applies. If you are unmarried (or married but not yet divorcing), Ontario’s Children’s Law Reform Act governs parenting matters. Both statutes were significantly updated in recent years to modernize the language and framework around parenting after separation.
I keep hearing “parenting time” and “decision-making responsibility.” What happened to “custody” and “access”?
The terms “custody” and “access” are no longer used in Canadian family law. When amendments to the Divorce Act came into force in March 2021, and Ontario’s Children’s Law Reform Act was similarly updated, those terms were replaced with language that better reflects the reality of modern co-parenting.
“Decision-making responsibility” replaced “custody,” and “parenting time” replaced “access.” This was not just a cosmetic change. The old terminology had become loaded with win-lose connotations that often made it harder for parents to cooperate. The new framework focuses on parental roles and responsibilities rather than ownership of the children.
What is decision-making responsibility?
Decision-making responsibility refers to the authority to make significant decisions about a child’s life. These are decisions related to the child’s education, health care, religious upbringing, and extracurricular activities, among other important matters.
Decision-making responsibility can be allocated in different ways. It can be shared between both parents, meaning they must consult and agree on major decisions. It can also be held by one parent (sole decision-making responsibility), which may be appropriate where there is a history of family violence, chronic conflict, or an inability to communicate effectively.
Day-to-day decisions, such as what the child eats or wears during that parent’s parenting time, are made by whichever parent the child is with at that moment. Decision-making responsibility applies to the bigger, longer-lasting decisions.
What is parenting time?
Parenting time refers to the time a child spends with each parent. There is no legal presumption in Ontario that parenting time must be divided equally, and no arrangement is automatically preferred over another. The only consideration that matters is what is in the best interests of the particular child, given the specific circumstances of that family.
Parenting time arrangements vary widely. Some families use a week-on, week-off rotation. Others use arrangements where the child lives primarily with one parent and has regular parenting time with the other. Many families use customized schedules that account for parents’ work schedules, the child’s school and activity commitments, and each parent’s proximity to the child’s school.
The court can also grant contact time to other important people in a child’s life, such as grandparents, under the Children’s Law Reform Act, though this is treated separately from parenting time between parents.
What does “best interests of the child” mean?
The best interests of the child is the overriding legal standard in Ontario parenting matters. Every decision made by the court, and every agreement made by parents, must be guided by it.
Under both the Divorce Act and the Children’s Law Reform Act, courts consider a broad range of factors, including the child’s physical, emotional, and psychological safety and wellbeing; the nature and strength of the child’s relationship with each parent and other significant people; the child’s own views and preferences (given appropriate weight based on age and maturity); each parent’s willingness to support the child’s relationship with the other parent; any history of family violence or abuse; and the child’s cultural, linguistic, and spiritual heritage.
There is no automatic presumption in favour of either parent. The question is always: what arrangement best serves this child’s wellbeing and development?
Do we have to go to court?
No. The majority of Ontario families resolve parenting arrangements without going to court, and courts actively encourage this. If you and your former partner can agree on parenting arrangements, you can formalize that agreement in a separation agreement, which is a binding legal contract. A well-drafted separation agreement that addresses parenting can spare your family from the cost, delay, and emotional strain of litigation.
If you are divorcing, your parenting arrangements can also be incorporated into a consent order, which has the force of a court order but is reached by agreement rather than a contested hearing.
Mediation and collaborative family law are also widely used options in Ontario. A skilled family lawyer can help you negotiate an agreement that protects your children’s interests and holds up over time.
That said, going to court is sometimes necessary, particularly where there is family violence, an inability to communicate, or one parent is unwilling to participate in good faith. Chronicle Law can advise you on the right approach for your circumstances.
What is a parenting plan, and do we need one?
A parenting plan is a written document that sets out how parents will raise their children after separation. It covers parenting time schedules, how decisions will be made, communication between parents, and how changes will be handled. It can also address holidays, vacations, school transitions, and other matters specific to your family.
Parenting plans can be informal arrangements, or they can be incorporated into a separation agreement or court order to give them legal weight. A comprehensive parenting plan is generally a good idea for any family with children, because clear expectations from the start reduce conflict and provide children with the stability they need.
For more information about what’s important to include in a parenting plan check out this tool from the Government of Canada: Parenting Plan Tool
What if we cannot agree?
If parents cannot reach an agreement on parenting, either parent can bring a court application under the Divorce Act or the Children’s Law Reform Act, depending on their circumstances. The court will make a parenting order based on the best interests of the child standard.
Before a contested hearing, Ontario courts typically require parties to participate in a process called a case conference and may refer them to mediation or a collaborative resolution process. Contested parenting litigation can be lengthy and expensive, which is why early legal advice and a good-faith attempt at negotiation is always the better starting point.
Where there is an urgent concern about a child’s safety, it is also possible to seek an urgent or interim parenting order on short notice.
Can parenting arrangements be changed later?
Yes. Parenting arrangements can always be varied if there has been a material change in circumstances since the original order or agreement was made. A material change is one that, had it been known at the time, would have led to a different arrangement. Examples include a parent relocating, a significant change in the child’s needs, a parent’s change in work schedule, or concerns that arise about a child’s wellbeing.
Changing a parenting order requires either a new agreement between the parents (formalized in writing) or a court application for a variation order. Where parents agree on changes, they should always update their documentation to reflect the new arrangement and avoid future disputes.
How does parenting time affect child support?
Parenting time and child support are separate legal issues, but they interact in important ways under the Federal Child Support Guidelines.
Child support is generally determined by the payor parent’s income and the number of children. However, where a child spends at least 40 percent of their time with each parent, a different calculation applies. In this shared parenting time situation, the court considers both parents’ incomes, the amounts each would otherwise pay under the tables, the increased costs of shared parenting arrangements, and the condition, means, needs, and circumstances of each parent and child.
It is important to understand that parenting time should not be negotiated as a bargaining chip for child support. Support is the child’s right, and courts view attempts to use parenting time as leverage over support (or vice versa) very critically. Your lawyer can help you address both issues properly and in the right sequence.
I have concerns about my child’s safety. What can I do?
If you have genuine concerns about a child’s safety in the other parent’s care, there are steps you can take. In an emergency involving immediate risk, contact the police. If there are ongoing concerns, you can bring an urgent court application for a temporary parenting order, which can be heard on short notice. You may also be able to seek a supervised parenting time arrangement, which means the other parent’s time with the child occurs in the presence of an approved supervisor.
Children’s Aid Societies also have a role to play in cases involving allegations of abuse or neglect, and in some situations a CAS involvement may run concurrently with family court proceedings.
Document your concerns carefully and speak with a family lawyer as early as possible.
Speak With a Chronicle Law Family Lawyer
Parenting after separation in Ontario shapes your family’s dynamic for years, and the decisions made in the first weeks and months often matter most. Getting the right legal advice early makes a meaningful difference, both for you and for your children.
At Chronicle Law P.C., we work with parents across Mississauga, Toronto, and the Greater Toronto Area on parenting arrangements, separation agreements, and contested parenting applications. We offer consultations in English and Urdu.
Book your free 15-minute consultation today at chroniclelaw.com or contact us at info@chroniclelaw.com or by phone at 289-270-9996.